I am host to several mental health conditions, I originally wrote victim… but then reread and it felt like I would then be letting it win and I am not doing that by a long shot, so host given the fact I’ve four of them (anxiety, depression, panic disorder and PTSD) suckering onto my brain means it must be a great place to stay, right?!
I wrote the blog originally before anyone started reading, as a diary, because writing in a diary would mean me writing awful letters (if you get my drift). As people started reading it. I led onto other subjects like period advice, days out, my support rabbit and how bad my illness has been. I believe it is so important to break the taboo on mental health, especially around young people!
The way I see it is you wouldn’t turn the other way if you saw someone in a wheel chair come your way in fear they would hurt you, you wouldn’t tell someone with cancer to stop being silly for crying about their illness and I would hope you wouldn’t tell someone at a funeral to “cheer up”: all these things are real things people are saying and doing to people with mental health issues.
I got told by the teacher in my old school when I told them about my bullying to “face it and stick up for myself not run away” when the kids were doing awful things to me. These are a few of the tamer ones:
– pulled my new hair out and called me Bob (because I had a Bob cut) and filmed it and pushed me into the men’s toilets turning all the lights out.
– ringing my home pretending to be friends to my parents but threatening me over the line
– spraying me with disinfectant
– pushed me into traffic.
The list goes on but I’m sure you’re not reading this to feel down about things. The positive flip on all this is that it’s turned me into a fighter and a determined young woman, battling to not only get well for the sake of my future, but for the future of a better, more educated knowledge in young people for mental health.
If I had the knowledge that mental health existed in the UK, I wouldn’t have kept silent about it for 12 years and could have been healed and have a relatively mentally wealthy life.
As mentioned before, I have a support pet, a little rabbit called Thumper who comes most places with me and is my world. When kids ask why I have a bunny with me I simply say “do you have a special teddy you go to hug when you’re sad? Well he’s mine” and they love it! They accept it but it’s an honest answer and what I will continue to do for as long as I live.
My blog has helped hundreds of people throughout the years and I love my readers dearly and they often send their thanks and how they couldn’t have done it (their hardship) without me. I know they did it cos they have so much inner strength. You’d think I’d dedicate this to my beautiful sweets, but I’m not, I’m dedicating this to you, whoever you are reading this, I hope you read this and send it to a friend, or call a doctor and get that help you need, I know you can face whatever your facing right now, just go and do it!
That’s me for now. I hope you enjoy; you can see my blog on holwolsblog.blogspot.co.uk