Last time I also introduced the concept of the ‘Grey Zone’ that place where many people spend their lives because it feels comfortable yet it stifles them from living life to their full potential. I often say to my clients that change begins on the edge of your Grey Zone or in other words at the edge of your own comfort zone. Yet, building up the courage to take the first step can be the hardest thing to do. Just stop for a moment and imagine, if you were to turn the clock forwards 2 years and nothing in your life has changed, how does that feel? Probably not too good. And yet I know that if someone lacks motivation to change, just pointing this out will not motivate that person to change. Each person must make their own choice to take this first step.

I am going to explore how you can build the courage to take control of your life. I am going to share with you my own unique model for change that will provide you with a compass to take that first step.

8 attitudes for personal and professional change
I have created the ‘8 Attitudes for Personal & Professional Success’. I have used the word Attitude very deliberately as an Attitude is about mind-set and it is made up of your values and beliefs about the world and what is possible for you to achieve in it. The 8 Attitudes are a powerful combination for living a balanced life paying attention to the physical, social, emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of your life. When applied together, these 8 Attitudes create the necessary mind-set for anyone to live their life with purpose, passion and to achieve their full potential. They are the compass that assists you to take control of your life. Are you ready to get started?

Attitude number one: I live my life on purpose
Do you remember a time in the past when you were totally focused with goals that excited you? When you knew exactly what you were going for and no one was going to stop you? Maybe you were working on an important project at work or determined to assist your child through their exams, or even had your future partner in your sights? Allow yourself to go back to that time now looking through your own eyes and experience that sense of determination and how in control of your life you felt. Anchor to this feeling and experience for 30 seconds. Let any negative thoughts disintegrate into that positive experience.

How did that feel? This Attitude is all about making these positive feelings a permanent fixture in your life and enabling you to live your life on purpose. In other words, live your life as if you really mean it from this point onwards.

How to get started
Time spent working on your goals is time well spent. And yet, getting to ‘GO’ with your goals can be the hardest part. Experts estimate that only 5 to 10 per cent of people bother to think about their goals on a regular basis, and only 1 to 3 per cent have clear written goals. The key question is not only how to set goals, but also how to set goals consistently that you know you will achieve.

The million-dollar question is: ‘What do you want?’
If you’re not sure yet, start by asking yourself the following question: ’In which area or areas of my life am I not yet getting the results that I want?’

Imagine yourself in three years’ time. What do you want to have achieved by then? What will you be seeing, hearing and feeling? Visualise a super clear image in your mind. Turn up the brightness and size of the image, increase the sounds, and ramp up the feelings. Now come back to the present. Now contrasting with the image, list the area or areas of your life in which you are not yet getting the results you want:

Then, for each area you have identified, ask yourself

  • Step 1: Where specifically do I want to get to and by when?
  • Step 2: What specifically do I need to do to get started over the next week/month/three months?
  • Step 3: What feedback mechanisms am I going to use to keep myself going? How often will I take stock and how will I know that I am on track?

Well done….you now have a focus and a plan!

The common threads to live your life on purpose
Let’s finish this time with the common threads that bind a life with purpose:

  • Live by your beliefs and values and stay authentic to what is important to you
  • Set priorities in your life and focus your time and effort in these areas. Ask yourself, how do I spend my days? Because how I spend my days is, of course, how I spend my life
  • Follow your passion and pursue your dreams with fervour and put your heart into everything you do
  • Achieve balance in all areas of your life including your own personal needs and fitness
  • Be satisfied with what you have and who you are. As the saying goes, “The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money”
  • Make a difference by doing things for others without expectation of personal gain, serve as an exemplary role model, and gain as much satisfaction witnessing the success of others as well as witnessing your own
  • Live in the ‘now’ by cherishing every moment and seeking to live life without regret

Until next time when I will be speaking about Attitude number two ‘I Create What I Want’.

Lindsey Agness is a Master Trainer of NLP, author of four books including the best-selling ‘Change Your Life with NLP’. She works with companies and individuals to help them achieve personal and professional success.

Download Lindsey’s free checklist on the ‘8 Attitudes for Personal & Professional Success’. Visit:

Lindsey Agness

Read some of Lindsey’s other articles:

Relaunching you from the inside out

Taking back control of your life

Living life with authenticity

The Importance of Being True to Yourself


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here